Love
is the Best Antidepressant
Love is as critical for your mind and body
as oxygen.
It's not negotiable, The more connected you are,the healthier you will be both
physically and emotionally. The less connected you are, the more you are at
risk. It is also true that the less love you have, the more depression you are
likely to experience in your life. Love is probably the best antidepressant
there is because one of the most common sources of depression is feeling
unloved. Most depressed people don't love themselves and they do not feel loved
by others. They also are very self-focused, making them less attractive to
others and depriving them of opportunities to learn the skills of love.
Most of us get our ideas of love from
popular culture.
We come to believe that love is something that sweeps us off our feet. But the
pop-culture ideal of love consists of unrealistic images created for entertainment,
which is one reason so many of us are set up to be depressed. It's part of our
national vulnerability, like eating junk food, constantly stimulated by images
of instant gratification. We think it is love when it's simply distraction and
infatuation.
Recognize the difference between limerance and love.
Limerance is the psychological state of deep infatuation. It feels good but
rarely lasts. Limerance is that first stage of mad attraction whereby all the
hormones are flowing and things feel so right. Limerance lasts, on average, six
months. It can progress to love. Love mostly starts out as limerance, but
limerance doesn't always evolve into love.
Know
that love is a learned skill, not something that comes from hormones or emotion
particularly. Erich Fromm called it "an act of will." If you don't
learn the skills of love you virtually guarantee that you will be depressed,
not only because you will not be connected enough but because you will have
many failure experiences.
Learn good communication skills. They are a means
by which you develop trust and intensify connection. The more you can
communicate the less depressed you will be because you will feel known and
understood.
When you reframe the situation to something
more adequate, you can act again in an effective way and you can find and keep
the love that you need.
There are always core differences between two people, no matter how good or
close you are, and if the relationship is going right those differences
surface. The issue then is to identify the differences and negotiate them so
that they don't distance you or kill the relationship.
Indonesia: A Necklace of Equatorial
Emeralds
Indonesia is often referred to as the world's largest
archipelago.
a name which aptly represents its 17,000 or so islands which span more than
5000 km (around 3,200 miles) eastward from Sabang in northern Sumatra to
Merauke in Irian Jaya. If you superimpose a map of Indonesia over one of
Europe, you will find that it stretches from Ireland to Iran; compared to the
United States, it covers the area from California to Bermuda.
There are eight major islands or island groups in this
enormous chain.
The largest landmasses consist of Sumatra, Java, Kalimantan (Borneo), Sulawesi
(Celebes) and Irian Jaya (the western half of Papua New Guinea). The smaller
islands fall into two main groups: the Molluccas to the northeast, and the
lesser Sunda chain east of Bali. Bali is a unique island, which for a number of
reasons can be put into a class of its own.
Mountain lovers will find plenty to enjoy in Indonesia. A great volcano
chain, the Bukit Barisan, runs the entire length of Sumatra. On the West Coast,
the mountains fall abruptly to the sea, while to the east they ease gradually
down to plains in a broad fringe of coastal mangroves. Vegetation-clad
volcanoes also rise dramatically from the sea at Banda, Ternate and Makian.
Many of the volcanoes are still active, constantly smouldering and occasionally
erupting violently, though geological stations monitor the active ones
constantly and give warning if they are unsafe to climb. Mount Merapi in
Central Java is a favourite for climbers, despite being one of the most active
on the archipelago.
Mountain lakes are also abundant in dormant craters of many
volcanoes,
the most famous of these being lake Toba in the northern highlands of Sumatra.
This mountain lake covers an area four times the size of Singapore. In
Kalimantan, waterborne transportation moves cargo and passengers up and down
the major rivers: Mahakam, Barito, Kahayan and Kapuas. The mountainous island
of Flores is famous for its multi-coloured volcanic lakes, known as Keli Mutu.
The three lakes are in a close group and range from dark red to turquoise.
Located
between two distinct bio-geographic groups - Asia and Australia - the flora and
fauna of the archipelago is also quite idiosyncratic. Species found
nowhere else on earth have flourished in certain areas, including the famous
Komodo dragon on the island of the same name. Also in abundance are rare
flowers, including exotic orchids, unusual insects, birds of paradise and
numerous indigenous spices such as cloves, nutmeg cinnamon, mace and many more.
Eiffel
Tower : Famous Landmark
the Eiffel Tower is the romantic symbol of
Paris.
Interestingly, its design was at first disdained by the city's artists and
writers, who protested the tower's construction in 1889 for the Universal
Exposition, a world's fair commemorating the 100th anniversary of the French
Revolution. Eventually, however, the tower's beauty, originality, and
engineering wizardry won it widespread praise and affection -- as well as a
place on the canvases of artists such as Pissarro and Utrillo.
The City of Light finds its loveliest expression in the
Eiffel Tower by night, one of the most
romantic views on earth. Bridge engineer Gustave Eiffel designed the
tower, exulting that "the French flag is the only one with a 300 meter
pole." (At 984 feet, the tower ranked as the world's tallest structure for
decades; modern television transmitters on top have elevated it to the present
1,063 feet). While you're high atop the Eiffel Tower, it's
comforting to know that the structure was engineered to sway no more than five
inches in a strong wind. Even more remarkable, the tower actually
"grows" up to nearly six inches during hot weather.
The tower was never meant to be a
permanent installation on the Paris skyline, and it was nearly dismantled in
1909. Only the
emerging field of radio telegraphy saved it -- antennas mounted on the tower
proved vital to French transmissions. Over the decades since then, the tower
has played important roles for the International Time Service, transatlantic
radio telephone service, radio broadcasting, and French television.
The view from the top of the Eiffel
Tower is particularly enchanting in the evening, when city lights glitter on
the Seine and romance fills the air. The structure itself is lighted from within,
flooded with a radiance that transforms the tower into a jewel box of silver
and gold. New lights were installed as part of a major facelift the tower
received in 1986, prior to the observance of its 100th birthday in 1989. A
great deal of rust was removed during the work, restoring the tower to a
gleaming appearance in daytime as well.
Although the panorama of the city
from on top can't be surpassed, the best view of the tower itself is from
below. If you
position yourself between the tower's feet and look up, you'll appreciate the
grace of the iron latticework and see a dramatically distorted perspective of
the tower soaring overhead. You'll be sharing this experience with other people
from all over the world: Each year the Eiffel Tower draws some six million
admirers wanting to see the world-famous symbol of Paris. Its perennial
popularity is assured.
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